Office Politics


Written on 10:36 AM by Sarah

I can't do this anymore. I simply cannot work for morons who have no grasp on reality. Too many people in this office have been coddled since infancy and cannot understand how the world works outside of their brownstone suburb.

Today, I open my email to find one of our Sales Reps wants me to order a car for her with particular... details. She hates vans, thinks they are tacky. Thinks the clients will think they are tacky. So I have to request a "black Lincoln Town Car" and nothing else. She also said to clarify the address because there was a mix up last week when the car company who "doesn't speak good English[sic]" went to the wrong location. Then, if this wasn't enough to make me laugh, she closes her email with the most asinine request. I'm reprinting it here, exactly as it was typed:

"I don’t know how you can word it but I would like to ask the dispatcher to send someone professional and clean (not smelly)….. lol
Thanks Sarah."

Sure... I'll get right on that. And John wonders why I want to quit my job?

The Point


Written on 6:02 AM by Sarah

I'm not a rambler. I'm not a gossiper. I just tell people exactly what I need and when. The problem at work, well, at any place I've ever worked, is that most people do not speak this way. In fact, when I talk this way to coworkers and customers they most often assume I am "blowing them off" when this isn't the case.

The problem here is that I like to use my time wisely. I like to be efficient. In the time it takes you to tell me about every woe and trouble you have experienced since your printer went down, I could have fixed it.

Ladies. Gentlemen. Get to the point.

Look, it's not that I don't care. It's not even that I don't want to help you. I just want to help more people today than just you. In fact, the reason you are telling me about evry little problem is because you want to expedite the help. You want me to know how "urgent" the job is needed. The fact is it doesn't matter. I will help you in the same speed no matter what. I treat all people as emergencies, afterall, who am I to judge what's important to you?

So, just tell me what is wrong and that's it. You need to get an invoice corrected? Tell me that. You need to order more toner? Tell me that. I DO NOT need to know about what day you recieved the bill or how many children are suffering because you couldn't copy the coloring pages for them this morning.

Seriously. The point. Get to it.

The Mondays 2/2


Written on 8:07 AM by Sarah

For everyone who has a case of the Mondays, I'll be sharing a bit of work-related humor with you every start of the work week to help get you through to Friday. Enjoy!

He Uses The Google

Me: “Thank you for calling *** Services, how may I help you?”
Customer: “I am an old man who does not understand anything about computers. Something is wrong… can you help me step by step?”
Me: “Yes, I can. First off I need to know somethings about your computer…”
(After about 5 minutes he hands the phone to his son who is a self-proclaimed computer software technician.)
Customer’s son: “Hey, this is ***. I know about computers so you can speak all the Internet jargon you want.”
Me: “Alright. First off, what web browser are you using?”
Customer’s son: “Well I am on Google, so Internet Explorer.”
Me: “… Sir?”
Customer's son: “Yeah, since I am on Google, I’m obviously using Internet Explorer.”
Me: “Can I speak with your father, sir?”